they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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