Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize