you win again, gameday.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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