He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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