Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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