She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize