So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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