Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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