it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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