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Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
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Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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