i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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