The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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