Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
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