Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize