It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
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We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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