i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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