is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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