my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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