then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
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He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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