How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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