Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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