It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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