I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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