I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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