I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
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At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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