Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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