Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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