Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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