look no pants
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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