you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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