if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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