Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I bet he comes in French.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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