eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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