I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize