yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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