we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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