So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize