I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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