what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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