time to smoke my breakfast
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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