Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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