I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize