my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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