Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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