You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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