I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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