He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
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You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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