life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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