What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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