im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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